K_now God – like you want to know your spouse!
Different ways in the Old Testament – 810 times is the word Yatha used.
*Casual – Genesis 29:5: “Do you know a man there named Laban, the grandson of Nahor?” “Yes, we do,” they replied. (NLT)
*Abusive – Judges 19:25: Then the Levite took his concubine and pushed her out the door. The men of the town abused her all night, taking turns raping [knowing] her until morning. Finally, at dawn, they let her go. (NLT)
*Trusting – Exodus 6:7: I will make you my special people, and I will be your God. And you will know that I am the Lord your God who has rescued you from your slavery in Egypt. (NLT)
Judges 2:10 – After that generation died, another generation grew up who did not acknowledge the Lord or remember the mighty things he had done for Israel.
1 Samuel 3:7 – Samuel did not yet know the Lord because he had never had a message from the Lord before.
*Sexual – Genesis 4:1: Now the man knew his wife Eve, and she conceived and bore Cain. (NRSV)
In the OT, as often in the New, to “know” people typically suggest more than simply knowing “about” them. Instead, knowing someone involves experiencing that person.
Different ways in the New Testament
Christ’s example – John 10:14-15: “I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me—just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for my sheep.
On knowing Christ – Philippians 3:8: “What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ.”
I_nvest in Yourself – don’t settle – you are worth so much more! How many of you know someone who is settling? How many have settled before? I assume most . . . and many will in the future.*
Proverbs 4:23 – Above all else, guard your heart, for it effects everything you do. (NLT) Above all else!
*Phillipians 1:9-10 – And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ. (NIV) Not just what might be good; but what is BEST!
*Proverbs 3:5-6 – Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths. (NLT) Are you seeking it?
Proverbs 6:25-26 – Godliness with contentment is great gain! (NIV)
*Philippians 4:11 – I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. (NIV)
If you think you haven’t settled, re-evaluate anyway, to ensure! I encourage people, once you think you might be ready to date, to make a list of the things you are not willing to settle less for in a teammate. A non-compromising list. You didn’t settle on a God, don’t settle on a guy or girl!
S_et Boundaries – & S_tick to them!
*Song of Songs 2:7, 3:5 – Do not arouse or awaken love until the time is right. (NLT) [until it so desires – NIV, it is ready – NRSV]
*Psalm 102:27– But you remain the same, and your years will never end. (NIV) God’s rules never change, but always stay the same, so should ours.
*Hebrews 13:8 – Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. (NIV)
Proverbs 4:5 – Learn to be wise, and develop good judgement. Don’t forget or turn away from my words. (NLT)
Proverbs 12:1 – Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid. (NIV)
*John 14:15 – If you love me, you will obey what I command. (NIV)
Proverbs 25:16 – If you find honey, eat just enough—too much of it, and you will vomit. (NIV)
*Proverbs 4:26 – Mark out a straight path for your feel; then stick to the path and stay safe. (NIV)
S_top Looking – it’s a matter of trust! We trust God with our salvation, right? Why shouldn’t we trust Him with our lives? There are more than 3,000 dating services in the U.S. and over $1 billion is spent through them. What does that say? You are trained to think “who” from an early age.
*1 John 3:20 – God is greater than our hearts and he knows everything. (NIV)
*Psalm 56:10-11 – In God, whose word I praise, in the Lord, whose word I praise – in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? (NIV)
*Proverbs 5:15– Drink water from your own well—share love only with your wife. (NLT)
*Jeremiah 29:11-13 – For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to proper you, and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart. (NIV)
H_old them up in prayer – even before you know them! My wife had a book written for me that she gave me on our wedding night. She prayed for me even before she knew me! I do the same for my friends now. It’s never too early to pray! I do the same for my three children.
*Matthew 6:33 – Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. (NIV)
James 5:16– Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. (NIV)
Gen. 24:12-52 Abraham’s servant praying for Isaac’s wife and finding Rebekah.
E_xpress your best – treat her both as God’s daughter and some other guy’s future wife . Men, and you are, whether you are 11, 12 or 29 – let’s stop being thieves and start being warriors! What would happen if we went around viewing all girls as God’s daughters? And your best friend’s wife? We’d probably treat girls better than we do, huh?
*1 John 3:16 – Now this is what love is: Jesus Christ laid down His life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers [and sisters]. (NIV)
Proverbs 5:20 – Why be captivated, my son, by an adultress? Why embrace the bosom of another man’s wife? (NIV)
Romans 12:10 – Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. (NIV)
John 15:13 – Greater love has no one than this: that he lay down his life for his friends. (NIV) – this is true love!
Hebrews 10:24 – Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. (NIV)
*Proverbs 20:6 – Many a man claims to have faithful love, but a faithful man, who can find? (NIV) – I challenge you to prove this verse wrong!
*Proverbs 6:25-26 – Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes, for the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread, and the adultress preys upon your very life. (NIV) – * – you’re gonna get burnt! And then you’ll be TOAST!
*Luke 12:2– There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. (NIV) – You might think you are getting away with stuff, but you aren’t . . . ever!
*1 Timothy 5:2 – Treat younger women as sisters, with absolute purity. (NIV)
*Matthew 5:28 – Anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (NIV) – from Jesus!
R_espect everything about her – It’s the key to her heart!
*Proverbs 31:23 – Her husband is respected at the city gate. (NIV) – the perfect wife’s husband is respected! If you want your wife to act a certain way and be respected, you have to respect her.
*Philippians 2:3-5 – Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility, consider others better than yourselves. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus. (NIV)
*John 13:34-35 – A new command I give you. Love one another. By this, all men will know that you are my disciples: If you love one another. (NIV)
I_ntelligence – use your brain with guys, don’t be run by feelings alone. T or F: Guys dig a ditz? F! It only ends up hurting him and you!
*Phillipians 1:9-10 – And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ. (NIV)
*Proverbs 31:26– When she speaks, her words are wise, . . .
M_odesty– let it abound – when in doubt, play it safe! Guys have a hard enough time. Clothes, words
Philippians 2:3-5– Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility, consider others better than yourselves. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus. (NIV)
*Song of Songs 1:6 – Don’t look down on me, you fair city girls, just because my complexion is so dark. The sun has burned my skin. My brothers were angry with me and sent me out to tend the vineyards in the hot sun. Now see what it has done to me! (NIV) . . .
*Song of Songs 2:1 – I am the rose of Sharon, the lily of the valley.
*1 Samuel 16:7 – But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. (NIV)
*Proverbs 31:30 – Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. (NIV)
Other Scripture to reference:
To be made anew in Christ / Healing / Overcoming:
1 John 1:9 – If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
Psalm 103:10-12 – He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
Romans 8:1 – Now there is no condemnation in Christ Jesus.
Isaiah 1:18 – Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are as red as crimson, they shall be like wool.
Isaiah 43:25 – I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.
2 Corinthians 5:17 – If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old is gone, the new has come.
Jeremiah 29:11-13 – For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to proper you, and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all of your heart. (NIV)
Other texts about relationships:
1 Corinthians 7:32 – I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs – how he can please the Lord.
Hebrews 13:4 – Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
James 1:14-15 – Each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.
Matthew 5:8 – Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
2 Corinthians 6:14 – Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can goodness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? NLT
1 Corinthians 10:31 – Whatever you eat or drink or whatever you do, you must do all for the glory of God.
2 Corinthians 1:12 – We can say with confidence and a clear conscience that we have been honest and sincere in all our dealings. We have depended on God’s grace, not on our own earthly wisdom. That is how we have acted toward everyone, and especially toward you.
Genesis 2:18 – And the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a companion who will help him.”