So I’ve been a frequenter to this website for months now and totally dig it.  iamsecond.com.  It’s simply testimonies of people and their faith in Jesus and how they are second.  Many people are famous and recognizable, but others not so much.  It’s really a “behind the scenes” look at people’s lives and how they came to give their lives to Jesus and die to themselves.

{A quick caveat to this site: my kids know that true joy is: Jesus, Others, You (j-o-y).  At least that’s what they repeat.  But in that categorization, which I believe wholeheartedly in philosophically, we aren’t second, but last.  Jesus did not come to be served, but to serve and give his life as a ransom to many (Mark 10:45, Matthew 20:28).  We aren’t to be second, but last!  And ironically, when you go to the “store” for iamsecond, the first think at the top is: “Are you a fan?”  I thought this completely ironic, given my previous blog: On fans & followers.  I get where they are coming at and totally love and support the ministry, purpose and flat-out quality of iamsecond, but it must be mentioned, I think.}

What I really appreciate behind the stories is you get to know what people really see as those moments where God led them to Himself.  So often we look at people’s lives and think we know how God is working to either bring them to Himself or them choosing to stray.  But so often we really have no clue.  In the same breath, I can think I know how God is working in my life and leading and directing me but have no clue; yet I think we know ourselves best in the Spirit alive and well in us.

One such behind the scenes testimony was that of a guy I met just last week: Brant Hansen.  I first heard him on air1 radio about 6 months ago.  I thought he was wacked out and crazy.  The way he talked, his content and more were just flat-out bizarre.  Then around Christmas time I heard him talk about the meaning of Christmas and I was blown away.  I mean his depth, theological accuracy and Spirit-led words pointed to my core and my heart’s beliefs.  I really was impressed and excited to hear him.  He still has remained fun and crazy (check out his blog as an example or listen to him noon-4pm M-F), but I know his heart & story.  And his story I had no clue about until I saw iamsecond.  I was shocked to see him on there, in fact.  He talks about his awkwardness as a kid, his doubts, his lack of social confidence and most noticeably his high-functioning autistic condition of ausberger’s and dancing eye condition of nystagmus.  What I so appreciated was his point that what were strikes against him he his now thankful for.

In the midst of difficult times, I want that perspective.  I’ve had it and been honest that I don’t like those times I’m going through, but I trust God’s sovereignty and control that He knows what’s best.  I truly trust that.  Because I’m a follower (and not a fan).  And because I am second.

In fact, right before Jesus says that he didn’t come to be served but to give his life, he says:

So the last will be first, and the first last.

– Matthew 20:16, ESV

So on second thought: I am not a fan.  And I’m not even second.  I am last.

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